Life is like a football…

“Life is like a football; you never know which way it’s going to bounce.”

Those words were penned by my friend Tyson in a poem he wrote in grade seven—long before the film Forrest Gump hit the cinemas and just a few months before his tragic death.

I played Aussie Rules; Tyson played rugby league—but we both loved cricket. And as it was for most kids our age growing up in Australia, sport occupied a massive part of our lives.

Just like the bounce of a football in his poem, Tyson was always full of surprises. There was this one time when I was invited to his home for his 11th birthday party, only to discover he was also an incredible artist. Despite being really good at everything he did, nothing came easy for Tyson. His hands would constantly shake as though he had sculled a litre of RedBull, and it always seemed more pronounced whenever he was holding a pencil or paintbrush.

He was a miracle baby, born with a hole in his heart, and by the time we met in grade five, he’d already had numerous heart surgeries. His heart had endured so much trauma, the doctors had warned his parents that he would never be strong enough to play sports, let alone beat an entire grade of healthy boys, in the 800m final.

But it was that courageous heart of his that made Tyson so special. He was a warrior with a smile so big you just knew he had no enemies even though he was a ferocious competitor.

"Life is like a football, you never know which way it's going to bounce."

— Tyson Evans

Then suddenly, on just another ordinary Friday afternoon, Tyson’s life took a cruel and fatal bounce. One minute he was running and laughing with his mates after school; the next, he was hit by a speeding car. The impact was so severe that he died instantly—gone.

Though I wasn’t there when his lifeless body was wheeled unceremoniously into the back of an ambulance, I’ll never forget witnessing an entire gymnasium packed with family, friends, and classmates mourning, remembering, and celebrating an extraordinary boy—my rival and friend.

I was only 12 years old when Tyson died. I’ve lost a few close friends over the years, but that was the first time I felt that kind of devastating pain—loss.

Of all things, it was footy and the indiscriminate bounce of an oval-shaped ball that had taught Tyson to accept, navigate and overcome the unpredictable nature of his brief remarkable life.

And ever since then, each time I would step onto a field to play—or watch my kids play, now that my competitive footy days are long gone—I am reminded of one of life’s great lessons and my friend, Tyson.

So—for those of you who might be feeling a little battered and bruised by life and all its cruel bounces and perceived failures, allow me to encourage you today and remind you of this simple, yet profound truth…

Never forget that what really matters in life is the courage to be in the fight; and that win, lose, or draw—you can say you left it all on the field. And when the crowds and the commentators call out and complain as they spectate safely from the sidelines, you can hold your head up high knowing that the evidence of real success and a life worth living can only be found when you fail trying. And I don’t know about you, but I’d much rather fail trying than fail watching—regardless of which way the footy bounces.

Time is your friend

Time is your friend, not foe

Don’t believe the caged-in souls

Who quiver, burrow, barely sleep; never still enough to see—

That light is streaming, shining, bending; Along the arc of space unending.

Catch the rays and ride the waves;

Let them take you where they may

Dance along the plane where sky and ocean greet

Surrender to the song where loss and longing meet

And once there find, that should you trust the here and now; and then and there; will all one day fold—

Into a world immersed in what was seen and heard; and felt and shared; from days of old

A safe place; dangerous enough to venture out from once again

And discover time is still your friend

Wake Up and Pay Attention

This morning, my eldest was awake first — it must be because it is the first day of school holidays — but nonetheless, August and Elliana joined me on a little adventure to see the “crocodile in the creek” and also see if the new playground the local council was building behind our house was finally complete. My only instructions were to find something that grabs your attention and look closely and observe everything about it. 

In just a twenty minute walk we had marvelled at the beauty of a paperbark tree and the dozens of little creepy-crawly’s that live within its peeling layers. We discovered a bright red and metallic purple stink bug that none of us had ever seen before. We patted Bailey, the friendly puppy dog, who took a special liking to August, licking him all over his face. And despite my attempts to scare August that the crocodile would jump out and eat us if we got to close to the creek, he bravely held our hands and dragged us to the waters edge, convinced that we just needed to wake him up. A few sticks hurled at the mostly submerged rock in the middle of the creek, couldn’t “wake up” Mr Crocodile. “We might have more luck waking up Lily from her beauty sleep when we get home”, I reasoned with August, and off we trotted back. 

As we made our way home we picked a couple flowers for mum and suddenly the lyrics to a song in one of my favourite childhood movies sprung to mind. “If you want to be someone, if you want to go somewhere? You better wake up and pay attention.”

After falling in love with the movie, Sister Act — featuring the hilarious Whoopi Goldberg and the incredibly talented and pretty, Lauren Hill (yes, I had a crush on her) — I guess I was destined to move to New York and marry a gorgeous local. 

But there is something profound and simple in that lyric, “wake up and pay attention”. Each morning, we are gifted the opportunity to explore, observe and marvel at the beauty and wonder of everything around us. Who knows what you might discover, or what mystery you might solve? If anything you will start your day with a sense of beauty, awe and gratitude. 

Allow me to leave you with the wise words of the late Pulitzer Prize-winning poet, Mary Oliver…

“Instructions for living a life: Pay attention. Be astonished. Tell about it.”

May you walk today in wonder, grace and truth.

The Wisdom and Joy of Self-Discovery

A few days ago I took my two boys on an early morning walk. It’s the boys in our home that are the early risers, waking up about 5:30am and usually asking to watch a show or snuggle in bed. Both options are mostly not allowed, except for weekends. And so to curtail the early morning shenanigans and give the girls their beauty sleep, Charlie, August & I often go on walking adventures around our neighbourhood. 

We’ve discovered that it’s best that August leads the way. If either Charlie or I head in a certain direction, he’ll be sure to protest, dig in his heels and insist on going the opposite way. His stubborn, independent, but adventurous nature, can only be channeled when he feels he has a choice in the matter. Hence, he leads. Sometimes we give him a choice of which way to go… and if he doesn’t want to answer, we just go our way and sure enough, we’ll be given the command to go the other way. Charlie and I usually excitedly follow his new command and off we go. 

On this particular morning we stayed on the street doing loops around our little cove of a neighbourhood. It had rained overnight and the road was damp — the charcoal bitumen had turned a wet black. We came across a cane toad that had its innards coming out of it’s mouth, still twitching after being run over by an early morning commuter. Cane Toads in Queensland, Australia, are the equivalent to a New York City subway rat or Trafalgar Square pigeon in London. A pest that most people are grossed out by, especially when they occupy every square foot of your front lawn at night and you have to play “dogem” just to take the late night garbage out to the rubbish bin. The experiments my friends and I would conduct on cane toads as a child, I am to ashamed to tell here. Let’s just say, this morning there were no BB-guns or golf clubs, but instead we chose to give the little fella a dignified ending in the bush and I apologised for all my past misdeeds to these resilient creatures.

We trudged along, with August leading from behind, usually distracted by something whilst barking orders about the direction we should be heading. Charlie, on the other hand is quite the inquisitive lad. He’s already told me that he’d love to be a scientist or play Cricket for Australia when he grows up. he has already decided that his high school elective subjects are biology, chemistry, physics and PE… he’s still in third grade.

Our goal on the walk is to be as observant as possible, pay attention to the small details that we come across, use our curious minds to look closely at things, ask questions, and be in wonder of whatever it is we come across — the changing colors of leaves, the fungi growing on the tree, a dead cane toad on the road. 

Today, Charlie asked, “why is the road dry and grey at that spot over there (pointing near the drainage grate), but the rest of the road is wet and black?” He’s now at that age where I can’t just make an answer up to satisfy his curiosity and since I didn’t have an immediate response, we investigated.  

The drainage grate was a good five metres from where we were standing but we both noticed something right away. The gutter is designed so that waters flows towards the drain, however, we could see that above the grate — the grey, dry area — there was a slight rise in the road. We got on our knees like a golfer reading the slopes of the green before making a putt. Sure enough, the grey area of road was raised like a slight mound. Could this be the reason it was dry while the rest of the road was wet and black? Just then we looked for other areas of dry road, and just as we suspected, at the crest of the bitumen, down the middle of the road, dry lines and spots were visible. Like Sherlock Holmes and John Watson, we felt rather accomplished with our investigative success. We even noticed that the top of the concrete gutter was dry and a stone white colour compared to the bottom, where the water trickled, changing the concrete to a darker charcoal shade. 

Now, none of this is really all that groundbreaking, but the real magic is that I didn’t just tell Charlie (and August, who was busy distracted by the neighbours’ mail boxes), the answer or make something up. We asked questions, payed attention to detail, and experienced the joy of self-discovery. 

So often in my life, I thought I just needed to ask someone smarter than me the answers to all the questions I had. I would be smart and intelligent and full of knowledge. Unfortunately, I’ve discovered that some people just passed on ill-informed answers that they were handed down, or simply answers made-up, like a parent trying to pacify the wonderful, but incessant curiosity of a child. 

True wisdom and joy in life is found through the art and science of self-discovery, not merely inherited information. 

Good Leadership Starts with Humility

At the HEART of every good leader you will find a tremendous amount of humility.

In simple terms, humility is others focused - it gets on one knee bringing relief to the weary or offers a ‘leg up’ over the obstacles others are facing.

Well known philosopher and author of the Chronicles of Narnia, C.S. Lewis, said it best — “humility is not thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking of yourself less”.

It was a game changer for me when I realised that I did not have to maintain a low self esteem or suppress my outgoing personality to cultivate humility. All I needed to remember is that ‘it’s just not about me’… Oh the freedom!

When it comes to leadership, there’s very little that is more fulfilling than leading my family on this wild adventure called life. The truth is my kids, and especially my wife, are leading me more often than I’d like to admit. It just takes me a little while most days for me to realise it. And one of the greatest lessons my kids are teaching me lately, especially August, my youngest, is this — ‘we’ is much better than ‘me’.

You see, my kids don’t always ‘need’ my help or ‘need me’, they’re more often looking for the shared joy and experience of ‘we’ — that magical place where we lose ourselves in the moment together. That regularly looks like endlessly jumping on the trampoline, or that 12th kiss goodbye at school drop off gate, or the bedtime story that dangerously lulls us both to sleep, snuggled up in his bed together.

The good leaders that have left a lasting impact on my life weren’t just my mentors, or guides, or teachers… they were my friends, who found joy on my pursuits and knew that I needed their presence and encouragement more than their principles and expertise.

Good leadership always starts with humility.

#HeartOfAGoodLeader #Humility #HEART #Leadership #Empowerment #LessonsFromMyKids

Exposing The Real Borders That Divide Us

This image is all that I need to remind me that forgiveness and healing is always possible.

It’s in times like these that we need to find examples of hope that a world where “enemies” — divided by our own made up borders — can still become more than just neighbours, but the closest of friends.

For three years, dozens of families led by these two men lived side by side in a micro-village built for refugees that had survived and escaped the horrors of ISIS who had ransacked their homes.

These two men represented families of different ethnic backgrounds, religious beliefs, and opposing cultural practices. In any other circumstances, they would be considered enemies. However, their lives were bound together through survival — I witnessed them daily share their food, water, electricity and their lives. Their children went to school together, the adults sat together and processed their pain and loss together.

They walked the long hard road of healing together and on they way discovered that their had not just survived, they had learnt to thrive.

And so, when the time came for them to part ways, because of the courageous decision for their families to return and rebuild their homes now liberated from ISIS, this became the moment I witnessed the power of love, forgiveness and hope.

You simply can’t tell me that peace isn’t possible — that Shalom is not worth fighting for!

“What if the borders that divide us are not the lines we find on a map but the walls we build in our hearts and minds?”

I think it’s time to tear down some walls and erase the borders we’ve fooled ourselves into believing divided us.

Thanks @missjessieparks for capturing this moment, forever etched in my memory.

Most of all, thank you Abu Raed & Mam Fahsool for teaching us all that courage and kindness has the power to obliterate the unnecessary borders we create in our hearts and minds.

Yazidi Nobel Peace Prize winner speaks out: Please, hear our pain

How do you begin to tell the world about suffering and abuse so dark, so deeply shocking that they could never comprehend it? How do you make them understand the trauma and fear you have lived, when you cannot even understand it yourself? How do explain what it is like to lose 18 members of your family to execution or enslavement by ISIS? How do you open up the most private and terrifying details of your life? How does a woman raised to be modest, go about uncovering the sexual abuse and rape she has endured – especially to a global audience?

It seems impossible and yet Nadia Murad decided she must … so that the atrocities the Yazidi people suffered would come to an end. She believed if her story was told on the world stage, there would be a response. Help would come. Healing might happen. The torture may stop. Nadia tells her story,

“so that one day we can look our abusers in the eye in a court … and tell the world what they have done to us. So my community can heal. So I can be the last girl to come before you.”

For her courage and determination to be a voice, Nadia has been awarded a Nobel Peace Prize. This award acknowledges her bravery in the face of unthinkable abuse and hardship, but it does so much more than that. This Nobel Peace Prize speaks to all the Yazidi people who have suffered; it says, we see your trials, we recognise your great travail, we bear witness to what has happened to you.

Nadia was captured in August 2014 when ISIS attacked the Sinjar region. She was subjected to months of abuse as a sex slave before she escaped her torturers. On that day in August life changed forever for the Yazidi people living in her hometown of Kocho. Over 300 men were taken behind the local school and executed; the boys were taken away to be indoctrinated. Older women were also killed; young women and girls sold at slave markets. Four years later, thousands of Yazidi women and children are still missing.

Nadia suffered beyond what most human hearts and minds can bear. She was beaten, raped and imprisoned. She tried to escape and failed. For this she was savagely beaten and gang-raped by six militants until she became unconscious. “Every strand of hair on my head, every part of my body got old. I got worn out by what they did to me, and now I am totally different in every way. I never imagined that these things could happen, and I can’t really describe them in a way to make you understand,” she said.

Like many Yazidi people, she didn’t know what her fate would be from one moment to the next. She describes the waiting, the not-knowing: “Our hearts were constantly full of fear as we had no idea when they could come for us.”

Nadia escaped from ISIS but she continues to work to end rape and sexual assault in warfare.

“I will go back to my life when women in captivity go back to their lives, when my community has a place, when I see people accountable for their crimes,” she says.

In Toowoomba, Australia, a community of Yazidi people are endeavouring to rebuild their lives, trying to heal from the horror of the attacks against them and their safety. They work at making a new life in a new country where they are not always understood. Each day is a challenge as they seek to move past what has happened to them. But like Nadia, they are full of courage and hope that they can salvage their destinies from the ruins; they are determined to take back their dignity and their right to live in freedom and safety. We honour them.

Written by Tracey Heers

Longest Picnic Spread In Toowoomba History

The second ever 'Welcome Picnic' for You Belong was marked be a huge turnout and incredible feasting and fun.

What a day with over 300 in attendance! The welcome party to the newest families from Iraq & Syria to settle in Australia. 🇮🇶 🇦🇺 🇸🇾 🎉🎈

You Belong Shines At Toowoomba Cultural Festival

We had an incredible time on Sunday at the Toowoomba Cultures & Languages Festival.

A huge thank you to all our volunteers who worked so hard making and serving the chai ☕️ & Kurdish sweets 🍪. Our lives are richer and better because you are here in Australia 🇦🇺. #youbelong#toowoombaculturalfestival

Black Day - Yazidi Genocide

On Friday, Yazidis all over the world mourned and remembered the horrific events that took place on August 3, 2014.

Words cannot describe the brutal and barbaric genocide at the hands of Islamic State that led to the kidnapping, enslavement and exploitation of some 8,000 women and children. We attended a commemorative service attended by hundreds of Yazidis that have recently settled in Australia. Alongside the mayor of Toowoomba and other dignitaries we all gathered to mark what is now known as “The Black Day”. And you could feel the unquenchable sorrow as they shared stories of their suffering and collectively relived the trauma of their experiences. Their pain and anguish is compounded by the reality that many family members are still in captivity or unaccounted for. Others are languishing in overcrowded refugee camps in Iraq & Syria with little hope of returning to their homes. It was a heavy day and a reminder that we must not be silent to the suffering of the beautiful Yazidi people and many refugees like them around the world. Would you join me in praying for them today? Together we can show them that they are not alone in their suffering; that they are loved and welcome here. #youbelong

World Refugee Day 2018

There are 65.6 million people displaced from their homes at this very moment - more than any other point in human history. Half of those displaced are children. 
Tonight, I ponder those statistics and it’s hard not to be overwhelmed with deep sadness. These resilient men, women and children don’t need our pity, they need our love in action. No matter where you are you can make a difference in the life of a refugee struggling to find their place in this world. I have many dear friends on Instagram that are refugees scattered throughout the world.. today I honor you! You have shown me what courage and resilience looks like. I love and miss you dearly. To those on the cold face serving refugees, living and caring for them, and giving them a voice. Today, I thank you - you’re kindness and sacrifice does not go unnoticed. I hope you take the time to say a prayer for 65.6 million beautiful and brave souls today. You are not displaced, you belong! #worldrefugeeday#youbelong 📸 by @michaeldeanmcdonald(a true friend to refugees worldwide)

You Belong Launches First Welcome Picnic

We held our first You Belong 'Welcome Picnic' with over 150 wonderful friends from Iraq & Syria.

Well that was an incredible day... a beautiful beginning to... well, only God knows what!!? We had our first You Belong Picnic with over 150 wonderful friends from Iraq & Syria. Some families had only been in Australia for two weeks... today was, I just happen believe, in a special way just for them. We danced, we laughed (mostly at ourselves), we ate the most delicious of foods (Kurdish bread & Aussie snags notwithstanding), drank chai and yep... played ⚽️!!!

Trust me, this days was a beautiful miracle on so many levels. A big shout out to Rachael & Scott Carter for all the hard work. Special thanks to the @suncoastchristiancollege families who traveled all the way from the Sunshine Coast to put on the fun.

Something special is beginning... you are gonna want to be part of it!!! #youbelong #toowoomba#refugeesthrivinginaustralia @ Laurel Bank Park

New Year Reflections: 2016 - A Year of Grace!

Looking back at all that we have been part of in 2016, I would not have believed you had you told me at the start of the year. It's been another year of terror, war and trials for so many living here in the Middle East. But there are signs of hope everywhere and we are called to be agents of grace wherever we find ourselves. Here are some thoughts from yours truly...

I pray that whatever your 2016 was like, that you were able to drink deep into the unrelenting grace of Jesus. Let's raise our glasses to another gift from above to live out our lives knowing it will be filled with grace and great things to come if we are brave enough to believe it and receive it with gratitude!

Fall & Christmas 2016 Update is Out Now!

Another year has come and gone and we are more excited than ever to be serving here in Kurdistan, Northern Iraq. As we look back at all that has happened in 2016 we are amazed by the incredible provision of God amidst a very turbulent and often times tragic year. 

Thank you for standing with us in prayer, financial support and friendship. We have so much to be thankful for during the last 3 months here in Iraq. This Fall has marked the beginning of incredible partnerships on the ground to bolster our efforts to serve those in greatest need. The battle for Mosul was launched, our new refugee school was opened and we began work on a brand new housing project for 20 Yazidi families that have survived captivity from ISIS. 

Do join us in praying for peace and joy to flood the hearts of those who have suffered so much this year. Our prayer is that you and your family will feel the incredible love of Jesus as we celebrate his humble birth. We hope that you enjoy our quarterly update and look forward to all that 2017 has in store. 

The Sandlot Kids of Kurdistan

It was a mighty dusty afternoon, but we got that soccer game in ⚽️ The "Sandlot Kids" of Kurdistan!

How to Make Kids Happy

It doesn't take much to make kids in the Middle East happy. Build them a ⚽️ pitch!

Be The World To One

Every Wednesday a team of ladies head to our Akoyan micro-camp to spend time with the women and children there. There's no telling what their impact is on the lives of these Yazidis. 

Kaitlyn (@k_drenckpohl) has been serving with us here in Kurdistan for 9 months now. We are so grateful to have her as part of our team. Wherever she goes, she brings life, joy and smiles - just like the ones seen on these little girls. Never underestimate the impact you can have on just one person.  📸 @missjessieparks

No More Excuses To Play

These are some of the finest young men I know. Always polite and greet me with a warm smile every time I see them. They are incredibly resilient after all they have endured since fleeing Sinjar Mountain.

I'm ashamed to admit that I owe these guys a game of football. It's been too long since I've hit the pitch to play some six-a-side with these strapping young Yazidi boys. Partly because it's been super hot, but mostly because I know I'll barely survive. These guys sure know how to play and I reckon they could all make the national team if given the chance. Thankfully the summer is over and I'll have no more excuses to delay honoring my promise. Oh, and you should see the view from the soccer field that we play on @therefugeinitiative micro-camp in Rwandz. I'll show you next time we play. 📸 @missjessieparks @therefugeinitiative @rescueiraq

Mommy's Boy

This kid is such a mommy's boy... and it's no wonder why. Day in and day out Sarah proves to be the most incredible mother and wife on this planet. Educating our kids like a boss, putting seriously delicious gourmet meals on the table, and loving our family oh so well. She is a loyal and ever giving friend to so many. With her breathtaking beauty and selfless love she reminds me each day that I married way way up! Thanks for making our lives in Kurdistan one great adventure; your daily sacrifices make it a dream.

 📸 @missjessieparks

Carl is Back To Implement Trauma Care

A little over a year ago, we had a great couple days hanging out with these guys, visiting our refugee camps and drinking far too much tea!

Dr. Robi & Carl Gaede have been working hard to get the groundbreaking Empower and GROW trauma care programs translated into Arabic and Kurdish for widespread use throughout Northern Iraq. Carl has now moved to Kurdistan with his family and are busy getting settled. Pray for they as they begin to implement the trauma care programs at our micro-camps in the coming months.

@drrobi_s @therefugeinitiative @tutapona